It has been a few years since we traveled by plane as a family. We were excited about the vacation we had planned and for which we had anticipated our son Juan José, a 20-year-old young man with autism. Everything was going great until, for reasons we still don't understand, something bothered him emotionally and he couldn't handle the situation.
The waiting time in the room was short; However, as on other occasions, we had to face the looks of strangeness and curiosity that reveal the ignorance and lack of understanding of those who are not familiar with these situations that some families face. The first minutes of the flight were filled with worry and, in my case, anguish, as I did not fully understand what was happening to Juan José, since he was very excited about his trip.
After a few minutes during the flight, we spoke to him and told him that nothing was happening, that we would arrive at our destination at 9:30 in the morning. We had already noticed that he was somewhat nervous; His breathing was faster than normal, as was his heartbeat. In short, he was perhaps scared or nervous, as anyone can be when traveling by plane, but his way of expressing it was different. Little by little he calmed down, and the trip ended well for everyone.
Upon arriving at the hotel and seeing that our check-in would take place in the afternoon, we decided to go for a walk a little. As we were going to a city where we had already been on other occasions, he, very happy, took us to a place that at that moment we thought he liked and remembered. Minutes later, we arrived at Juan José's destination: the hotel where we had stayed on previous occasions. We explained to him that this time we would not stay there, but he insisted.
Upon returning to the hotel where we had the reservation, he wanted to go directly to a room, which was not yet possible. In some way, the situation experienced at the airport was repeated. However, once at the hotel, we had the possibility of requesting that they allow him to have his room. After explaining the situation and after some time, we managed to get the accommodation coordinator to support us in our request.
I share our experience as a family, since it undoubtedly helps us understand the way our children are. Although we live it day to day, sometimes we encounter unexpected changes. We would not have imagined that Juan José would be distressed or nervous about the trip, since the times we had flown, he always enjoyed it. Also, as on other occasions, we anticipated it and he did not show anything different than his joy and desire to travel.
Regarding the hotel, Juan José usually associates the city he travels to with a place and the room he stayed in the first time. This seems to give you security. For this reason, we try as much as possible to offer you other options so that you understand that you cannot always go to the same place or the same room, as well as everything that goes on vacation entails.
After this somewhat difficult first day, I confirm once again that everyday life with our children is a constant learning process. Understanding what is not said or communicated, but felt, frustrates us and makes us feel helpless. Although as a family we give everything, sometimes we feel alone, and we lack a society willing to support and understand, that goes beyond an intimidating, judging or pointing gaze.
It is up to families to have a good pulse, good writing and, above all, resilience and resistance, without forgetting that the participation of our children is mediated by support, environmental adjustments and a society that understands. But, above all, we must be certain that their life in the community is a right.